LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Hold on to your witch hats, because the Canterbury Bulldogs have revealed a whimsical wazoo of a plan ahead of the coveted NRL Magic Round.

According to inside sources, Canterbury head coach/arch warlock Trent Barrett has forged a powerful amulet using blood magic and halfback tears that should see his Bulldogs actually win a game.

“As dawn rises over the muddy waters of the ancient river Brisbane, we shall draw the enhanced powers of victory from the sacred magic round,” stated Barrett as he poured over his chambers of magical ingredients he raided from Ivan Clearly. 

“I conjure the spirits of El Magic, victory shall be ours!”

Although surely aware that the Magic Round is just the slightly patronizing way the NRL thanks Southern Queensland for not embracing AFL, Barrett really seems to think that magic will make the impossible possible and allow the Bulldogs to win a game.

Pundits are quick to point out that this is entirely possible as the Bulldogs will be playing Ricky Stuart’s Canberra Raiders who have magically disappeared at halftime regardless of whether it is the Magic Round or not.

“The foolish men ride their longships and stroke their green beards unaware of the fate that awaits them!”

Barrett then produced a small headgear wearing voodoo doll with a great kicking game that he kept trying to force through his door before 2022.

“May the panther release you from it’s foul jaws! Release!”


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