Every bloke, sitting in every pub in South Queensland, spinning tall yarns about how they were overlooked for the Brisbane Broncos in their prime – have been urged to please lace the boots back up and see if they’ve still got it.

With all eight matches of Magic Round taking place in Brisbane this weekend, the home-club-city is expecting to get humiliated as their boys take on Turbo Trbojevic on the weary Suncorp pitch this Friday night.

In fact, things are so dire in Red Hill that the wooden spoon has basically been assumed for 2021, a far cry from the two-premierships-per-decade that Brisbane had grown used to under Wayne Bennett.

That’s on the field. Off the field it seems the club is losing just about every bit of talent they’ve ever had.

The Bronx have confirmed Xavier Coates’ will be moving to Melbourne when his contract ends in Brissy, just two days after the embattled coach Kevvy Walters insisted he was confident the star winger would remain with him.

Coates confirmed the move to his teammates on Saturday after the Broncos’ 19-18 loss to the Cowboys, their seventh L for 2021.

The 20-year-old’s next contract is said to be worth $500,000 a season, and will see the youngster remain at the club until the end of 2023 – meaning Broncos fans will only get to cheer for him three times a year when he’s wearing an Origin jersey.

With a non-stop stream of shit continuing to pour downhill, the executives at Red Hill have made the call to run open trials for anyone aged between 15 and 50 who reckons they aren’t bad a rugby league.

“The contract will be fuck all” says Broncos CEO Dave Donaghy in a surprise media conference outside the Leagues club today.

“But like, if you are any good, we definitely aren’t saying no to you right now”

“Apparenty there’s some notorious punter down at the Brekky Creek Hotel who’se been telling everyone how Wayne overlooked him a quarter of a century ago”

“We implore blokes like that to have another crack.. Because lets face it, what have we got to lose?”

The CEO then sighed.

“Well look, since we are being honest”

“Kotoni is all we have to lose”



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