LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Year 10 students at Betoota Public High received education with a devilish twist today.

According to his peers, Ronald Leighton (54) is a highly regarded member of staff with an 18 year tenure whose passion for education is outmatched only by his passion for staff trips to wine country.

“What he lacks in fingers he makes up for in gusto,” stated school Principal Merideth Murray.

“Plus, he actually gets those little shits to shut their mouths while he points with those fascinating stubs of his. Truly the Tony Iommi of public education.”  

Not perturbed by his missing fingers, Leighton is said to be able to control even the most unruly of classes with his below-average finger count and has become an expert at dodging questions about them, which he recently demonstrated when year 10 Brad French straight up asked “sir, how’d you do your finger?”

“I just told him what I tell all the other curious kids,” stated Leighton, who seemed to be well aware of how he was being perceived and enjoying every second. 

“Simply that I will tell them on their last day of year 12. That way they will be more attentive in class, ideally a lot safer and ultimately more disappointed when I tell them I lost them in a fireworks accident.”


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