At 3 am on a Friday night, local teen Robbie Mills finds himself unable to sleep.

The thirteen-year-old Betoota Heights local had just finished the entire original Spiderman trilogy when he found himself channel surfing for his next fix.

It’s alleged that this search was partially fuelled by his discovery of Jackass last weekend, which had been playing early morning on channel 7. Much like every millennial teenage boy before him, he’d been instantly hooked as soon as he saw the boys riding in an oversized trolley to cinematic music – which to him, was the equivalent of his parents seeing the Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark opening scene for the first time.

Knowing his mother would never let him watch the sequels, Robbie figured he’d try his luck and see if Johnny Knoxville and his pals were playing again on one of the lesser-known channels. 

Which is when he stumbled upon SBS.

At first, Robbie had been confused by the foreign languages and strange yet alluring musical overscores, but he’d immediately settled in for the long haul when it cut to  a scene that can only be described as ‘gratuitous nudity.’

Deciding that yes, he most certainly could watch a movie with subtitles, it’s alleged Robbie stayed up to 5 am to see if the sexy cabaret entertainer and her posse of prostitutes were able to survive their trip with a train full of Nazis.

More to come.


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