EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
A Betoota Heights local has allegedly died as a result of corporate greed today after his friend was unable to get him the help he needed.
It’s reported that Louis Robertson  was enjoying a meatball sub when a chunk of bread went down the wrong air way. As he’d spluttered and choked, his mate Derek had attempted to perform a Heimlich manoeuvre to no avail, before frantically searching YouTube for a tutorial.
Unfortunately for him, the promising video he clicked on titled ‘How to save a life’, was preceded by two unskippable 15-second ads – one of which was ironically about a sandwich chain’s new melted cheese footlong.
As his friend’s face had turned an alarming shade of puce, Derek impatiently waited for the video to begin, as he figured skipping to another video might start the process all over again. However, when the video finally did start, the narrator immediately began spruiking for new subscribers for his channel and talking about the health benefits of colloidal silver.
“Hi welcome to my channel.”
“I’m back again with more life-saving tutorials to help, you guessed, save a life hahahaha.”
“Remember to like, comment and subscribe to hear the latest updates on saving people’s lives.”
“Anyway, before I begin my tutorial I thought I’d show you guys my new favourite product…”
It’s alleged that by the time the tutorial part of the video started, an angry Derek was unable to resuscitate his friend.
More to come.