LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Managing to squeeze her way into the property market through a combination of hard work and wealthy parents, Janice Baillieu (28) insists you must have the tour of her 800 square foot Sydney apartment, despite the fact you saw most of it when you stepped inside.

“Come on in guys, you MUST have the tour. Shoes off first haha!”

A comprehensive tour of Baillieu’s North Sydney apartment takes approximately 90 seconds to complete, with highlights being the living room/kitchen space and multipurpose bathroom/laundry area.

“I also enjoyed the mini-bar/boardgame storage compartment. She said it will be lots of fun whenever she has a party.”

Reviews of the apartment tour have thus far been mixed, with many guests stating it was too short, unnecessary and uninspiring.

“We didn’t even really get to see the bedroom because she said it was too messy. I don’t know how it got like that, she’s only lived here a week. Bad tour, one star.”

Having lived in her apartment for three months, Baillieu still finds herself giving impromptu tours of her Hotwheels sized apartment to various friends, family members and even once an Uber Eats delivery man.

“I just dropped off a Poke Bowl and I could already see the whole apartment. I was worried the bag I delivered wouldn’t fit in the apartment. But I accepted the tour anyway because some pornos begin that way sometimes.”

Baillieu states she is aware her apartment is a bit on the small side but is coming up with a few ideas on how to spice up her tour while making the apartment appear bigger.

“Adding a mirror should do the trick.”

More to come.


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