ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

At two dollars a six pack, Dale Peckham said the hot cross buns were hard to walk past down the supermarket this morning.

That and the kilo bags of generic Easter eggs, which were a modest $3.50.

We spoke to the chronically malnourished history student this morning in the cold meats section of the French Quarter Woolworths metro.

“This will feed me for a week,” said the 19-year-old South Betoota Polytechnic student.

“I’ve got 24 hot cross buns, three kilos of chocolate eggs and a stick of nice butter down the front of my trousers. I don’t shoplift every day but when I do, I shoplift from Woolworths because they rip farmers off and put profit before people. They’re not going to miss a stick of salted Lurpak, the bastards. I try to shop at the Fotox in Little Aarhus but they were on strike today. ”

“Anyway. It’ll be a nice change from Mi Goreng.”

However, in light Mr Peckham’s worrying admissions, The Advocate reached out to a number of local dieticians for comment.

Denise Palmer, from the Betoota Grove Wellness Centre, explained that Easter eggs and hot cross buns can be part of a healthy and balanced diet but if one exclusively eats them, that’s when you start having problems.

“Eating only chocolate eggs and hot cross buns for an extended period of time is not good for you,” she said.

“Problems you might encounter would probably be scurvy and gum disease. Possible tooth decay as well. And then there are the digestive issues,”

“I’d recommend adding organic vegetables and some good protein.”

Peckham said he’d take the recommendations on board but admits there’s not much wriggle room on the Austudy allowance.

“Sounds like I should be stealing more sirloin.”

More to come.


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