ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

When the deconstructed coffee trend first started to appear in the French Quarter cafe scene, needless to say, a lot of locals were left unimpressed.

By the notion of paying for a service, only for that service to fall back to the consumer.

It was garnered a lot of local press; townsfolk wanted to know how and why this big-city-fad was finding traction here in our small desert community.

However, the trend has caught on and taken an Old City District primary school staffroom by storm.

“It’s so easy to get a coffee now,” said Ms Emma Hutchins, who’s enjoying her third-year teacher the K/1 composite at Remienko St Primary.

“I never thought I’d enjoy a deconstructed coffee – as I’m a no-nonsense country gal. But it’s so simple and the coffee isn’t that bad either,”

“All you have to do is take a few teaspoons of the instant coffee, put it in a half-clean mug then walk over to the sink and put some boiling water in it. As my old man would say, ‘Em, it’s a piece of piss!'”

The 28-year-old isn’t the only teacher rapt with the new way of making their morning brew.

As the school’s sole Kindergarten, Mr Mike Caldwell, he’s often on the coalface of workplace stress and pressure.

Though he initially blew up when the school decided that the staffroom’s Nespresso machine was an ‘unnecessary luxury’, he’s now quite taken with the generic-brand dehydrated coffee.

“My Pop always used to say that putting milk in coffee is a sign of weakness,” he said.

“I wasn’t in a position to despite that, he was a Rat of Tobruk and I guess he knew what was weak and what wasn’t. Regardless, I was a bit upset when they took away the nice coffee machine with the milk whipper thing,”

“But this is great, I can literally make a coffee in 15 seconds – and I know drink coffee without milk like a real-life cowboy. Nothing says cowboy like a long black! For once, I’m happy with the Department’s decision. Hopefully, they make these deconstructed coffees a part of Gonksi.”

More to come.


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