LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

As bidding for the rights to host the 2032 Olympics continues, the Queensland capital Brisbane looks a likely shot at hosting the games, proving that nowhere else must be remotely interested in the world sporting event.

Several studies have also suggested hosting the Olympics is rarely profitable, seldom resulting in lasting infrastructure and increased tourism trade.

As a result, the Olympic Committee began allowing hosting nations to add additional sports to the games in order to increase their chances of winning gold medals. 

“If we can’t make a profit on the Olympics we might as well win some more gold medals,” stated Minister for Sport Richard Colbeck.

“What was I talking about? That’s right – Labor are terrible economic managers.” 

With the thought of winning big juicy gold too enticing for the Brown Snake to hold onto her purse strings, the AIS is in talks with the Olympic Committee of introducing Gender Reveal Burnouts to the 2032 Brisbane Olympics.

“Imagine the feeling of national pride you will have when we take home the gold because Lachie absolutely shredded it in his custom Crewman to find out he and Kels are gonna have a little girl?”

Brisbane rock band Powderfinger has put their hand up to say they will once again come out of a ten year hiatus to perform at the Opening Ceremony of the Brisbane Olympics.

Other events considered for the prospective Brisbane games include Cane Toad Golf, Jewellery Weight Lifting and a single game of State of Origin to be played at Suncorp just so the Maroons can smash the Blues in front of the world.


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