RSL bartender Merl Evers (45) had to stay late at work last night after asking local farmer Geoff Trainer (66) how things are going, a decision she immediately regretted after Trainer began giving a detailed and honest answer.

Despite the fact Evers has become a much-loved staple of Betoota RSL, but even with a quarter century of bartending experience, she forgot the first rule of regional bartending.

“Never ask a farmer how things are going,” stated a baggy-eyed Evers.

“Because they will tell you. Oh yes. They will tell you.”

CCTV footage shows Trainer entering Betoota RSL at 7:34 pm where he promptly ordered a jug of beer. Evers confirmed to police it was during this time she made the mistake of asking Trainer how his day was.

“Immediately he told me how he’s been crook lately and that his back is fucked again after he had to bury a dozen head of cattle he lost in a thunderstorm all by hand because his tractor had broken down and his son can’t come round to fix it because he’s too caught up trying to marry up the big shot neighbour’s daughter.”

“I honestly thought things were going pretty good for these old cockys”  

According to Evers, her attempts to serve other customers did nothing to stop Trainer from continuing to treat the bartender as an under-qualified therapist while consuming $212 worth of piss.

Due to lacking the social skills to move Trainer along, Merl was forced to listen to the weather-beaten farmer for the remainder of the shift and for an additional two hours after it finished.

“He kept plodding on about how he’s never going to be able to retire. I felt like fucking retiring after 30 seconds of listening to him. You know he didn’t ask once how I’ve been?”

Evers was able to escape the conversation by going to the toilet and squeezing out through the narrow side window, losing a shoe in the process, before running home without looking back or stopping once.

CCTV footage then shows that Trainer made his way to the VIP room where he then lost $450 on Queen of the Nile, which is somehow listed as a tax write off.

“I look forward to hearing him whinge about that next time then.”

According to Trainer, Evers is an old soul that understands farmers are doing it tough and sometimes all they need is a keen ear to listen.

“Shee’s a good bloke Merl, she’s an old soul,” stated Geoff Trainer as he checked the quality of his dwindling water supply.

“I was thinking about Merl the other day and I realised she’s probably my best friend. Specially [sic] since I lost Rex, my German Shepard, to a Taipan last week. Funny story how I got him actually, as a puppy mind you, I was driving to Mackay with my brother Lenny, God rest him, and we saw this guy holding a sign about 200ks out of Rocky where there used to be this big ice-cream shop…”


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