In a revelation that has left horoscope enthusiasts shaking their star charts in disbelief,  local bloke, Darren Coyle (38), confidently declared that astrology is nothing but “woo-woo bullshit,” all while boasting a perfect record of never walking under a ladder.

Darren, a self-proclaimed common sense warrior, dropped the bombshell during a casual conversation at the pub while socializing with some mutual friends.

“It’s just a load of bullshit if you ask me, I really hope I don’t up with a missus that believes in all that crap” Darren boldly proclaimed as he knocked on wood for good luck.

While Darren’s laidback confidence that all astrology is bullshit has rubbed some the wrong way, it has also led the way to some of Darren’s close friends calling out hypocrisy. 

“The guy refuses to walk under ladders, for no good reason.” Said one of Darren’s friends. 

“On the way here he dragged me out the way so I didn’t walk under two poles, apparently it’s bad luck.” Said another friend.

While the blinding hypocrisy of Darren’s ways has been pointed out to him several times, he vehemently defends his, “safety precautions”.

“I’m just being safe ok, I know it’s probably not true but I just like to be on the safe side y’know?” Darren professed.

Darren continues to stick on the safe side of his personal beliefs, but says he will continue to mock anyone that believes in astrology because it makes him feel like a smarter, more grounded individual.


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