YOU JUST DON’T KNOW: With only 84 citizens turning out to the Homebush Vax Hub on Saturday, It appears NSW is far from making a “sprint” to their crucial 80% double dose milestone – as hundreds of thousands apparently mistake ‘Homebush’ for ‘the beach’

These kinds of numbers have only thrown fuel on the fire currently burning outside of Sydney, as the rest of Australia looks on at the pitiful jab hesitancy of the Gold Standard State that has been prioritised above everyone else.

However, Scotty from Marketing denies claims of being NSW-centric with his jab roll-out, despite funnelling truckloads of thrifted Pfizer to his home state and only other Liberal government.

“It’s more about appearing to appease the noisiest journalists, who just happen to all be in Sydney”

“This is not about favouritism, it’s about marketing. That’s what I do.”

“If all the journalists and loudmouth cultural elite lived in Brisbane. I’d send the jabs there. But they don’t, they all live in the Eastern suburbs of Sydney”

However, there’s a side to this bungled roll-out that the ‘mainstream media’ isn’t showing you, and that’s the story of noted North Shore medical skeptic, Carly Farrugia.

The 18 months since Carly graduated from high school have been tough. Her only solace during these hard lockdown’s at her family’s holiday home in Avalon; a Blueberry Ice flavoured disposable vape.

Carly is eligible for both AZ and Pfizer yet she has withheld from rolling up her sleeve claiming she doesn’t know the long term effects. She also doesn’t care about the short term effects of not getting it. One of which is death.

“I just don’t know heyyy” says Carly, as she inhales yet another lungful of Chinese-made grey-market flavoured nicotine vapour into her 19-year-old lungs.

“I’ve been reading heaps of stuff about it on [my friend from Byron’s Instagram]”

It seems to be completely lost on Carly that vaping is much more urgent concern to Australia’s health professionals than the disproven effects of either of the jabs she is both eligible for. Especially in the nation’s schools, with more PDHPE lesson’s focused on the dangers of vaping than the importance of consent training. 

“Nah. These are way better than cigarettes” she says, as she exhales the last of her 3rd 1800 puff Blueberry for the week.


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