Like many Uni students, Marek Nowakowski (18) of the University of Betoota likes to at least look like he has a moral compass. It has now been revealed that the young man failed a test of moral fibre by recently purchasing cafe eggs during his weekly shop.

“Not an easy choice. I considered buying ‘cage free’ but those birds are still locked in a shed anyway. At least this way I save another 50 cents.”

The cage egg industry has widely been criticised by vegetarians, vegans and omnivores alike for their unethical treatment of chickens. While these facts are known to many, Nowakowski states the budget of an average uni student doesn’t allow for such luxuries.

“It’s not just the eggs I got to cheap out on.” he stated, holding a packet of 3-Star pork & beef mince and a box of Home Brand ‘Flaked Corn.’ “And I’m rolling my own darts. Times are tough”

“It’s not like I want to, I feel terrible for the chickens. But I’ve only got $30 to spend on groceries not including ciggies and goon so something has got to give.”

Nowakowski says he’s not alone in his battle to make ethical choices, citing a friend of his who has been known to steal 1-ply toilet paper from the uni library.

“If Centrelink could cough up a bit more then maybe we wouldn’t have to buy cage eggs. There’s no way I’ve got time to balance a job with my arts degree, but once I’m done and I’m making money, goodbye cage eggs and goodbye bloody White Ox!”


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