As a man with several investment properties and a share portfolio that is offset to fuck through his beloved franking credits, Sydney father-of-three Tony Brogden was always going to wait until the bitter end until he started questioning the performances of his Premier and Prime Minister in this pandemic.

However with 175 new cases reported in Greater Sydney in the last 24 hours, Tony is starting to think that maybe things aren’t opening back up this Friday.

It’s making him question whether a happy clapping lifelong bureaucrat, who’s been sacked from every job he’s ever had prior to entering politics, is the right bloke to be leading our nation out of this pandemic.

It’s also making him question whether the career politician currently serving as his Premier is up to the job, after she sent his state into a never-ending lockdown by licking the boots of the same incompetent Federal Cabinet who were pressuring her to stay open and white knuckle the outbreak in a hope they could prove the medical experts wrong.

To make things worse, Dan Andrews – that dopey Labor stooge that Tony spent all of last year firing cheap shots at for prolonging the JobKeeper package with his 4 month lockdown – has today announced that Victorians will be free to leave their houses at midnight.

But he’s still not willing to bring those opinions up during his illegal daily park bench coffee with the boys down on Balmoral Beach after their winter morning swim.

“Yeah…” he says to his likeminded socially progressive/economically conservative comrades in Mosman this morning.

“For sure, it hasn’t been that well handled here”

“But I tell you what, you wouldn’t want to be in England right now”

“Just look at their daily cases numbers”

However, Tony knows that his ‘Yeah but things are much worse in England’ shtick is starting to lose it’s gloss, as Englands death toll continues to shrink with more than half their population jabbed and over 90% of their over 60s vaccinated.

But he’s got no other option but keep believing that England is completely fucked by this virus and isn’t currently enjoying the freedom of a full open economy with no social distancing restrictions – as the death rate for this new virus begins to mirror that of the flu – a luxury that has been afforded to them by a government that decided to treat their jab roll-out seriously.

However after already having to eat humble pie and detract his previous position of ‘letting it rip’ and achieving herd immunity, Tony won’t be allowing himself to admit that Gladys or Scotty has fucked this up.

“Man I’m so glad I have the option to vote for Zali without being considered a scum Labor sympathiser” he says.

“But still. Go easy on Scotty. It’s not an easy job”


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