The Morrison Government have hidden behind the Defence Force this week, by accusing anyone of criticising their flood response of being deranged lefties who hate the ANZACs.

This follows the immense backlash after footage circulated of army reservists in squeaky clean uniforms pushing wheelbarrows with no air in the tyres, in front of professional photography lighting equipment. Meanwhile NSW police have been seen ticketing abandoned vehicles in the flood ravaged main streets.

Locals insist they have no issue with the army, just the government that took a week to send them there and then immediately ordered them to take staged photos for the Prime Minister’s Instagram page.

However, despite Scotty From Marketing’s very best efforts to write off any criticism of his government as Anti-ANZAC treason, it doesn’t change the fact that volunteers in Lismore have resorted to crowdfunding helicopters to drop off supplies to isolated residents who have been left for dead by their Prime Minister.

As of Monday there were 637 ADF personnel on the ground in northern NSW, including in liaison and planning roles, with another 656 due to arrive by tonight.

Yesterday the PM took to talkback radio to say he ‘understands the frustration’ – but insisted it was pretty hard to get emergency crews to these Northern Rivers towns, that up to 60,000 local volunteers have found a way to get in and out of.

However, with yet another abysmal crisis response on his record as PM, the Northern NSW floods are looking like they might affect his re-election chances.

It’s for this reason that Scotty has decided to finally throw Lismore a bone.

Following his speech to the Lowy Institute yesterday, where he revealed that Defence had reviewed 19 potential sites and estimated a $10 billion cost for a new Nuclear submarine base on the east cost, the Prime Minister has today hinted that Lismore might be the lucky marginal electorate.

“Two birds one stone” laughed Scotty.

“We’ll build it in the main street. The whole place is underwater anyway”

“… You guys said you wanted me to send the Defence troops to the Northern Rivers…

“Well now you won’t be able to get rid of them haha”


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