The Prime Minister has told media today in Canberra that his close personal friend Brian Houston deserves the presumption of innocence, which in this government means you get a go leading the House of Representatives.

“Brian ticks every box” said Scotty.

“A natural leader. Someone who is able to keep standing even with all the mud flung at him from the leftist deep state”

This comes after explosion revelations that yet another close personal friend of Scotty From Marketing is at the centre of heinous allegations of running victim-blaming protection rackets for powerful sexual abusers.

Scott Morrison prefaced that statement by saying he sick to death of people attacking great men like former Attorney-General Christian Porter and Brian Houston with no evidence to suggest they’re guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

“This is obviously the work of the Labor Party. I’m not going to stoop to their level,” he said.

A reporter then asked him about the car park situation and the Prime Minister promptly said the media conference was over.

“I’m sick of being the victim,” he said.

“Christian, Brian and me. We have targets on our back for no reason other than we’re successful”

“It’s just tall poppy rubbish.”


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