Despite Barnaby Joyce and Angus Taylor insisting that it is the last thing they want to do, it seems that Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing is going to announce some sort of relief for soaring petrol prices in the budget this week.

It is not yet known what they’ll be doing, but they have to do something, because this shit is starting to look really bad.

In fact, it’s so bad, that every day Australians are beginning to question why they spend so much time working and lining up for hours to pay for petrol, when they could really just steal it and and then riot against any government agents that try to stop them.

This comes as the topic of fuel prices transitions from a small talk cliche reserved for random dinner parties with in-laws, into the most crushing blow to household budgets right across Australia.

At pubs, barbecues and petrol bowsers around the country, one yarn that was unavoidable over the weekend was the passionate critique of our government’s handling of the unliveable price of petrol.

Strangers from all walks of life have found themselves bonding over the fact that the current per litre cost of unleaded and diesel makes them want to rush into the halls of Parliament House with molotov cocktails and other forms of low-tech projectiles.

However, it is not just the radicalisation of Quiet Australians into masked anti-government demonstrators that the Morrison Government needs to worry about – an even more alarming trend shows that some of them are even willing to vote Labor.

In the South Australian State election over the weekend, Labor’s Peter Malinauskas defeated the first term Liberal government with a 7% swing by campaigning on the COST-OF-LIVING pressures. A political issue that is not always in the front of mind for Federal Politicians, who have their rent, transport and meals covered by the Australian tax-payer.

Early whispers from within the Morrison Government suggest that the 2022 Federal Budget may include a new one-off $1000 dollar payment to deal with the economic pinch created by the spike in prices of produce and petrol.

For everyone except the unemployed and pensioners.


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