Comm Games closing ceremony pays homage to the great Australian Bush Doof The 2018 Commonwealth Games went out in spectacular fashion this evening, with the official closing ceremony paying homage to the rich Australian bush doof culture.

In an awe-inspiring aural and visual display, athletes from around the world were invited into the heart of Carrara Stadium to dance like absolute dickheads with a special hand-picked group of raging pill-heads who were shortlisted through an online voting system.

Organisers were particularly excited to showcase the nations best electronica, deep house and psychedelic trance artists, encouraging them to drop their most punishing beats across the crowd.

Visual artists and laser shows also featured prominently, through which organisers create d a sensory overload, resulting in spiritual awakening, wig outs and a handful of epileptic reactions.

Competing nations were each gifted a bandana with the colours of their respective countries flag, which they were encouraged to wear in whichever fashion they liked.

While the rest of the commonwealth couldn’t understand the appeal, to the point where many of the Caribbean nations said they were made physically ill by the amount of white boy dreads – One person who really enjoyed himself was Australia’s Prime Minister Malcom Turnbull.

The P.M chose to wear his bandana in the style of a ninja or a violent protester, busting out moves like the classic “big fish – little fish – cardboard box”.

QLD tourism’s Kate Jones was also seen, eyes closed, in what seemed like an improvised eurythmic expression.

Keeping in order with tradition, the ceremony will continue on for several days. Artists who contributed their time said that they were more than happy to show their art to a worldwide audience, whilst conceding that there was a real sense of sadness that Brisbane band Sheppard weren’t there to enjoy it with them.


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