WHO WANTS TO TAKE ON THE CHAMP? Despite dreaming about this scenario since the first day of his apprenticeship twenty years ago, Yagoona-based carpenter, Cam Seftons (41) has already grown tired of being forced to stay home on full pay.

After getting a bit too familiar with Sky Racing in his man-cave yesterday, Cam has decided to give the betting apps and the grog a miss for the foreseeable future.

“Yeah… I love a punt” he says.

“But it’s not good on the soul to be half-pissed and blowing money in a dark room while the missus tries to teach the kids inside”

With home-learning still very much a part of day-to-day life in the lockdown restrictions in his area, Cam’s wife has been taking charge on the home learning while he was still considered essential.

But with the NSW Premier demanding he stay home for the next fortnight, he reckons today might be the day where he tries his hand at education.

The NSW government’s decision to shut down building sites in Sydney has already caused lengthy backlogs in the construction industry, which by the federal government’s HomeBuilder scheme aimed at giving boomers something to do by providing them with free money to renovate their investment properties while locked down and refusing to get their jabs.

The construction ban will last until July 30, unless work is urgently required. This exception is only for ‘life and death’ scenarios, like roof caving in or a balcony starting to slant.

However, unluckily for Cam. He only works for other blokes on the big jobs – and building rushed apartment towers that only meet code when signed off by independent experts isn’t considered ‘life and death’ for some reason.

So for the next few weeks, his kids will be calling him ‘Mister Dad’ – as he gives the missus and break and takes over the home schooling.

And by home schooling, he means telling his wife to go for a walk with her girlfriends while he and the kids play Xbox for for five uninterrupted hours.

“Okay babe. I think we need some mince and some milk” he tells his wife.

“Can you pick that up on your way home from your walk”

“I’ve also filled your water bottle with Chardonay. It’s in the fridge”

“Ok kids, school time. See ya love”


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