23 March, 2016. 09:35


Shortly after learning that the capital of Belgian is known as Brussels, local mechanic Todd Daisley has today declared that an entire religious community of 1.6 billion people is pure evil.

The 52-year-old says he doesn’t like what he’s been hearing about this specific monotheistic Abrahamic religion lately. He says it’s almost ruined Easter,”

“They are fucked in the head mate, the lot of them,” said Mr Daisley, who up and until moments ago, thought that the iconic European metropolis of Brussels was actually in Scandinavia.

“What happened in Brussels is fucked. It’s happening there, it’ll happen here,”

Officially known as the Brussels-Capital Region, the city is a region of Belgium that comprises of 19 municipalities, including the City of Brussels which is the nation’s capital, the French Community of Belgium, and the Flemish Community. The region has a population of 1.2 million and a metropolitan area with a population of over 1.8 million, the largest in Belgium.

Despite its reputation for beer and cheese, Brussels is also well-known for hosting many different migrant cultures within their city, one of which, Mr Daisley has a real problem with.

“It’s the same thing everywhere, mate” says the man, who admits he has only ever travelled overseas to “the tourist parts of Bali” where it is “pretty much only Aussies”

Despite the fact that he hasn’t really met anyone who follows the specific religion that he is currently condemning, Todd says he’d be happy if Australia banned anyone who follows it (roughly a quarter of the human race) from living here altogether.

“Its the only way, mate. They just don’t want to get along with anyone else,” he says.

“They don’t want to know anything outside of their small little world. It’s dangerous to have them here.”


  1. I really admire people like local mechanic Todd. Don’t worry about thinking just jump to conclusions. When a bloke is a little short changed in the grey matter department he can’t waste his mental energies on what is obvious. He needs all the brain power he can muster to decide, at any given time, whether to scratch his arse or not.


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