A local grub that hasn’t got enough time to brush his teeth but is able to spend three hours in the pub each evening has today told himself that antiseptic mouthwash is just as good as physically brushing his teeth.

Clay Plunkett is currently single, after a series of relationships with girls who thought brushing your teeth twice a day was fairly important, the lower grade park cricketer has done his own research into what exactly is an appropriate method of looking after your mouth.

“Definitely not twice a day- but once a day, but deadset, Listerine does the job. Sometimes I’ll brush as well with the mouth wash but that’s a bit over the top” says the 35-year-old forklift skipper.

With his bed and body hygiene enough to make his mother wonder if she raised him wrong, Clay says that ‘mouth wash people’ obviously are a bit more wary of there dental health.

“You’ve just gotta hold it in until it stings”

“It’s just as good. If not better. Remember the adds with the explosion in the cheeks. That’s what it’s like, it fully cleans your mouth”

“But don’t use it too much, because it’ll fuck your plaque, every couple of days is good enough”



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