Chris Yoanidis needed something to ease his conscience today.

Upon waking up with a clammy sweat and a metaphorical swarm of insects crawling across his brain, the university student from the Betoota Polytechnic was also in desperate need of some sustenance.

After giving the $3 dollar house beers and ‘goon sunrises’ (a popular staple at the university’s bar) a nudge last night, young Yoanidis had definitely felt better.

With a thirst for Blue Powerade and an appetite for something dripping in oil, the aspiring secondary teacher stumbled out of his sharehouse and wandered down to the main strip in the French Quarter.

After internally dissecting some of the things he did last night, in a pretty serious case of the grog horrors, Yoanidis decided he needed to get a win on the board today, and get it early.

That desire to get said little win, culminated in the eligible bachelor walking straight pass the Eye of The Thaiger, and subsequently, and more importantly, the Sunflower Cafe, the home of the best burger in town.

Yoanidis pulled up stumps at Subway, feeling a whole lot better about his life choices and his self control.

“I was craving a dirty burger. I was. But I knew full well that doing that would put me back in a hole within half an hour of finishing it,” he explained.

“However, when you are in a hungover state, it’s not that easy to rationalise these things in your mind.”

“It’s like that Hermitude song, you know? That little devil on your shoulder? When your hungover, that devil is the grease and fast food devil, and he has incredible power,” Yoanidis said.


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