The soon-to-be-crowned Labor candidate for the electorate of Fowler in South-West Sydney has today shown just how committed she is to her local consistuents: By lowering herself to a photoshoot at a local rugby league club.

Kristina Keneally, or Cabra Keneally as she is now known by the locals, says if she’s learnt anything from her time in Federal Politics, it’s that voters really do seem to like sport. Or as she puts it ‘the new opium of the people’.

So, proving that she’s not just some career politician using the economic and social anxieties of one of Australia’s most disadvantaged political divisions, the former NSW Premier has today rocked up to Belmore Oval wearing sporting merchandise.

After a late night on google maps, Cabra Kenneally and her staffers deduced that majority of her electorate were likely to support the iconic Western Sydney rugby league franchise known as the Bulldogs.

This need to look as though she cares about the passions and interests of her new electorate is very important for Keneally, as she continues to wrangle the ALP into appeasing her ambitions to be the President Of Australia

Keneally’s move into the highly multicultural seat of Fowler has angered large factions within the ALP, including the outgoing MP, Chris Hayes – especially when it was revealed her selection would sideline Labor’s local candidate, a second-generation Cabramatta Vietnamese-Australian by the name of Tu Le.

However, it seems the Westie cosplay might be working, as Cabra Keneally rocked up to the rugby league heartland today in full ‘sportswear’.

Opting to leave the Northern Beaches-style panama hat in the car, the lower house hopeful opened the boot of her Supra and began draping herself in the Western Bulldogs AFL scarf, which one of her staffers ordered online a week ago.

Unaware that she was wearing the wrong team’s sporting kit, Cabra Keneally ran out onto the oval with cameras in tow.

“Go the Doggies!” she shouts, at a stadium that has been empty since the entire NRL was relocated to Queensland in June, before her new team the Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs were eliminated a fortnight ago with the wooden spoon.

“Who are we playing this week boys!!?”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here