NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian appears to have undergone an ’emo’ transformation today, as she fronts the 11am press conference with dark eyeliner and nothing but bad news.

Her state has recorded 919 new cases of the virus overnight and two deaths, another record spike that seems to have undermined all of the positivity that was beaming after yesterday’s ‘improvement’ of 753 cases.

Even so, Berejiklian tried her best to deliver some uplifting statistics, announcing with said 6.1 million jabs had been administered in the state, and “nearly one-third of our population” had received both.

However, as the daily case numbers edge ever closer to the big 4-digits, both the NSW Premier and her team are unable to hide the deep melancholy that surrounds them today.

“Look” sighed Gladys.

“Can I just say…”

“Looking at todays numbers, all I can tell the people of New South Wales is here comes the rain again, falling from the stars”

“Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are”

On top of the Premier’s uncharacteristically sorrowing language, journalist have noted that she was also dressed in accordance with the sadness that surrounded the press conference.

Ditching the usual vibrant two piece, Berejiklian was instead wearing an oversized dark metallic mens suit with a skull and cross boned embroidered on the chest, reminiscent of the early 2000s post-hardcore rock genre known as ’emo’.

“As my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost” she continued.

“Wake me up when September ends”

“Summer has come and passed, the innocent can never last. Wake me up when September ends”

The press scrum were on the verge of tears, as Gladys poetically outlined her complete lack of faith in Greater Sydney being able to leave lockdown until spring time, after a catastrophic jab roll-out and a poorly handled June outbreak.

“Also…” she said.

“The suburbs of concern in greater Sydney and Western Sydney remain Guildford, Auburn, Merrylands, Greystanes, Granville, Punchbowl, Yagoona, Blacktown and surrounding suburbs. We urge everyone in those communities to stay home. Please assume you or somebody you have come into contact with as the virus.”



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