A recent report by Australian Bureau Of Statistics has found that anyone who isn’t directly of Irish heritage should avoid naming their daughter Siobhan, purely because after several hundred years no one is 100% sure on how to pronounce it.

Of the 10,000 Siobhans that were surveyed, 98.1% say that people who read their name aloud in government offices or school rolls, often settle for See-Oh-Ban, or So-Vawn.

“They never get it right” says Dubbo local, Siobhan Smith.

“I don’t know why they have to pronounce the B”

“Tinder is the worst”

“In Tinder they literally have to learn your name based off an online profile, and then say it in person”

According to several of the Siobhan respondents, Siobhan is a female given name of Irish origin. Its correct Irish spelling is Siobhán (Irish pronunciation: [ʃəˈvˠaːn̪ˠ] or [ˈʃɪwaːn̪ˠ]). The most common Anglicizations are Shevaun and Shivaun.

The name is derived from the Latin Ioanna and Iohanna (modern English JoannaJoanne), which are in turn from the Greek Iōanna. This Greek name is a feminine form of the Greek Iōannēswhich is in turn a shortened form of the Hebrew Johanan (יוֹחָנָן Yôḥānān, a shortened form of יְהוֹחָנָן Yəhôḥānān), meaning ‘God is gracious’, and origin of the masculine name John and its cognates.

West Betoota Primary teacher, Mrs Clare, says nothing makes her blood boil more than getting a few Siobhans in her class, especially when their parents are visibly not Irish.

“It’s just such a fuck around. What about easy names like Barbara or Amrita”

“What’s with the wannabe Irish stuff. Maeve is hard as well. So is Sinead”

According to 2016 Cenus, are over 100,000 Siobhans in Australia.


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