In a scene from a horror movie, hands and arms have been reaching out of the ground today.

However, rather than some supernatural graveyard miraculously coming to life, the dead bodies have been breaking out of the surface in anger at what has come to light in the Royal Commission.

This comes as The Royal Commission into Misconduct in the Banking, Superannuation and Financial Services Industry heard that financial planners at the Commonwealth Bank Of Australia had been knowingly charging dead customers fees for ‘advice.’

Our reporters were on the scene at the graveyard just out of town today and spoke to some of the animated corpses about their fury.

“Unbelievable. I have been resting in peace for the last 4 years,” said Ken Walker.

“But now we have all got wind that these dodgy fucking bankers have been trying to rob us, and our families while we were in the grave. It’s enough to make a bloke spring back to life. Fuck em,” he said.

Sandra McAllister, a Legal Professor at the Polytechnic University spoke to us about how dead people could actually be charged fees.

“Well, it’s just a case of the financial industry taking the piss whenever and wherever they can. They technically do it by manipulating trusts and estate and shit like that if that was what you wanted to know,” she said to one of our younger reporters.



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