The Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has today been met with a chorus of support from inner-city Melbourne residents whose entire identities are based around worshipping him and his government.

As Greater Sydney marches towards the back end of their fifth week in lock down, the man responsible for last year’s second wave that resulted in 7181 of his own citizens infected through the community transmissions has decided to fire shots.

Earlier this morning, Andrews called on the NSW Government to do exactly what they have been doing for several weeks now, by banning people from leaving the infected hot spots.

The fact that parts of Western Sydney are already in stage 4 lockdown with mounted police monitoring there every move was lost on the Victorian premier, as he went on to rattle off some emotive pandemic terminology that served no purpose other than making his own constituents feel warm and fuzzy about their status as the world champions of state enforced lockdowns.

Fresh from sick leave and back in front of the lectern, Andrews demanded that the NSW government institute a ‘ring of steel’ around Greater Sydney to prevent the spread of the virus to other parts of the country, after Victoria recorded 14 new cases in the community in the past 24 hours.

“Go Dan!” Tweeted North Fitzroy resident, Wyatt Privolich (38, Rockabilly stylist)

“Sydney needs to go through what we went through. They need to suffer”

St Kilda woman, Ellie Tinasiti (55, diamante blacksmith) agrees.

“They have to know what we went through”

“Because no one knows what we went through”


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