This harrowing footage of an out-of-control blaze on the surface of the Gulf of Mexico is no longer a concern, according to Mexico’s state-run oil company Pemex.

Over the weekend, hundreds of millions of people around the world began to consider the fact that maybe we’ve take it all a bit too far, as videos went viral of the swirling flames erupting from below the oceans surface

In a statement, Pemex said the fire, was caused by a gas leak from an underwater pipeline, began at 5 a.m. local time on Friday off the coast of Campeche, west of the Yucatan Peninsula.

The fire was put out by 10:45 a.m. local time, and no injuries or evacuations of the facility have been reported – which means the villainous psychopaths behind this natural disaster have the all clear to return back to their usual dance of unfettered late-stage capitalism.

However, those who thought this was the last we would see of natural sea-life being destroyed by sporadic and unnatural firestorms are once again terrified for the future of the planet after the Brisbane River lit on fire in what appears to be very similar circumstances.

However, unlike the Gulf of Mexico disaster, Queenslanders aren’t overly shocked by the ‘The Brown Snake’ lighting on fire, and CityCat routes have not yet been affected by the blaze that has been burning for close to 12 hours now.

“This bloody thing never surprises” says local ferry operator, Moreton Banks (65)

“I found a human arm in there once. Couple actually. Not the same arm, but yeah”

QLD Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk hadn’t even heard the news when we contacted her office.

“Haha what? Seriously. The Snake is on fire?” she said.

“Fuck me that’s gotta be a first hahaha”

Despite the overall disinterest from locas, Marine biologists from the CSIRO are working around the clock to identify what may be the cause of the Brown Snake Fire.

Early indications suggest it might be coming from the fuel tank of a submerged Holden Commodore that was ditched in the river after the armed robbery of a South Brisbane ANZ branch while everyone was distracted by Expo 88.



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