Noble Park bricklayer, Wren Hardy (27) has today been berated by his colleagues for still not being back at work 12 weeks after breaking his back in a freak accident that saw him slip down some wet stairs at home.

While doctors have confirmed “there is no immediate plan for surgery” after the Victorian tradesman first fucked himself up back in March, he’s had to take it pretty easy in the months since then, which is usually what happens when someone breaks their back.

At the time of the accidents, a CT scan tevealed several broken ribs and vertebrae damage, and subsequent medical advice has recommended he remain in intensive care for several weeks.

His workmates say they were fine with him not being at work while in intensive care, but say it now feels like he’s starting to take the piss.

“Where is this bloke?” mutters Byron, an enraged local chippy, as he once again looks at the empty milkcrate that Wren used to sit on at smoko.

“I reckon he’s faking it”

Kyle, an apprentice tiler who is also working on the same jobsite says he reckons the cowardly brickie is ‘pulling a Dan Andrews’.

“Talk about hiding away” he says.

“Even if it is true that he slipped over and shit, I reckon the bloke is milking it”

While Wren has tried to update with his employers as much as possible from his bed, the growing consensus on site is that he’s really just a bludger who is hiding from hard work, and that spinal injuries aren’t THAT bad.

“Wish I could do a couple weeks at the trauma unit at The Alfred hospital.” says another local door hanger, Bryce.

“Blokes probably still getting paid too the sook”


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