Tony Abbott has today declared that he will gladly tear his entire family apart if it’s what he needs to do to protect the Catholic Church’s interpretation of family values.

This comes as the daughter of the former Prime Minister, Frances Abbott, has vocally come out in support of marriage equality.

In a video posted on the Australian Marriage Equality Facebook page, Ms Abbott said she hoped to one day see her lesbian aunty get married in Australia.

“You can’t help who you fall in love with,” she said.

“Love just happens sometimes and it’s unexpected and that’s kind of what’s the awesome thing about it.”

However, Mr Abbott, who as a young man hasd considered becoming a priest and never getting married, says regardless of the pleas coming from his gay sister and her partner, he won’t for one minute consider dignifying them the right to legal status as a couple.

Tony Abbott says he’s never been told what to do by a women – let alone one that he is ranked above in the traditional family structure.

“A vote against marriage equality is a vote against political correctness” he said.

“It’s a vote against a whole lot of other things like that as well, like many other issues that aren’t mentioned on the black and white postal survey. They didn’t mention it on the mail-out but there’s heaps of things, trust me”

“It’s also a vote against your annoying sister who has made life very hard for you since she decided to be such a big attention seeker and come out as a lesbian while you were already struggling on the polls as Prime Minister”

Abbott went on to say that he doesn’t care what his daughters or extended family say, as an undervalued white baby boomer, he refuses to compromise in any way, especially when it comes to making life easier for people who were born gay.

“I vow to tear my entire family apart to keep the status quo that has served people like me so well” he says.

“Vote no and dignify my existence, please”

“Vote no to protect the family values that have oppressed my sister her entire life”


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