LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Former Prime Ministers have joined more than just forces this week as Malcolm Turnbull joins his fellow ex-PM, and live-in lover Kevin Rudd, in a crusade to take down the overbearing Murdoch press.

That’s according to a report from Sky News and the Australian, who say neighbours of Turnbull and Rudd have been unable to get a decent night’s sleep due to the rambunctious and elephantine sounds of the former PMs making love.

Sky has also reported that this happens up to three times an evening.

Mr Turnbull is best known as a former Australian PM who has done 100% of his hard-hitting campaigning for change since losing his job via the traditional knife-in-the-back.

Recently, he has spoken out against a Murdoch press monopoly in Australia, comparing them to terrorists in what may be the first time a conservative has called another white person out for such a thing.

The dismantling of the Murdoch press is also an issue very dear to former PM Kevin Rudd, who did not expect to find a stunning new passion in his quest for fairness.

“The Murdoch media just make up lies,” stated Rudd, who was reportedly lounging next to a smiling Turnbull who gently caressed one of Rudd’s perfectly round cheeks as they spoke to a Murdoch reporter.

According to the former PMs, the shared trauma of losing their job due to a powerful media circle turning against them is what brought them together but the love and passion they feel for one another in their deepest soul is what has kept them together. 

“I should have done more to end Murdoch’s monopoly then. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to have waited so long for this tall drink of Mandarin-speaking water to come into my life,” finished Turnbull.


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