Greens Senator Lee Rhiannon has announced today that she will retire in the next few months to focus on her Essential Oil distillation business.

The controversial senator from NSW whose been in the role for seven years now spoke to our reporters today about her reasons for stepping aside and allowing Mehreen Faruqi to fill the vacant Senate spot.

“Well, there are a few reasons actually for my decision. Obviously, there are the well-publicised issues between myself and other members, particularly those that don’t like me baiting farmers” she said.

“I have spoken out for a while now about how much power Di Natale’s shaman has within our party, and the lack of mandatory chakra alignment for our members,”

“But I also want to focus on a project of mine that I have been working on for a while. Lee’s Leftie Lotions” she said.

Our reporter took a quick minute to open some windows after being overpowered by the pungent aroma of the oils Rhiannon was using before letting her continue.

“So I am moving up to full-scale distillation and cold pressing, and looking at expanding my operation from one Saturday market stall in Balmain, to over 5 around the Greater Sydney area.”

“Oh, and it’s probably going to be good to get someone into the party who isn’t an affluent white person.”

She then tried to offer our reporters some powerful natural healing oils that could prevent ageing and prevent cancer.

Our reporters declined the offers conveniently sighting the MEAA code of ethics for journalists.

We spoke to a local Grazier out the back of Bourke today about the decision.

“You wanna know what I think,” he asked, before pulling his .223 up to his shoulder and greasing a roo some 60 metres away in a neighbouring paddock.

“That’s what I think. Bye Lee.”

More to come.



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