WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

After a week of actually facing some tough questions about horrific sexual assault allegations levelled against him, Attorney-General Christian Porter has today taken some time to unwind.

The man refusing to stand aside in regards to the allegations that he sexually assaulted someone in 1988, told The Advocate that he’s spent the morning making the most of his paid mental health leave.

“I certainly harnessed the harsh western sun this morning,” chortled Porter with a magnifying glass in hand.

“Nice way to start the day,” he said, drinking his 4th long black before lunch.

Porter has taken 2 weeks of paid mental health leave because he isn’t coping with the fact that the nation is demanding that the first law officer of the crown (who was previously accused of improper paper conduct) help clear shed some light on the cricumstances.

“Nice to not have to face any questions about having an inquiry into my behaviour,” said the man who says he has nothing to hide.

“This country needs a rule of law. Particularly one that helps people like me.”

“Yes, got another one,” he broke off after sizzling another formicidae in his backyard.

“Anyway, I’m done talking about this shit, I need to concentrate on the rest of this ants nest.”

He then left to enjoy the rest of his day off as part of the generous mental health leave he gets, despite the fact he’s a politician whose party has tried to undermine workers benefits since it’s inception.

More to come.

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