As Mark McGowan confirmation day edges closer and closer, Zak Kirkup has today turned down a request from Australia’s Prime Minister.

Speaking over the phone this morning, the man who is reportedly trying to save some of the Liberal’s furniture in the WA parliament told our PM that he’s actually all good, but thanks for the offer.

His polite denial was in response to Scott Morrison’s offer of assistance in trying to salvage something from the state’s election.

In a very weird campaign, Kirkup previously conceded defeat two weeks out from the day the state goes to the polls.

But that doesn’t mean he’s trying to lose EVERY seat.

Which is why the WA Opposition are distancing themselves from the Federal Government – who have those multiple alleged rapes casting a worrying shadow over the entire Liberal Party.

“No offense Scotty, but we are all good over here,” said Kirkup who is facing one of the most historic defeats in democratic history.

“I know we are gonna get spanked”

“But we don’t wanna die”

“Maybe keep the West Coast Eagles Jersey at Rebel Sport for now aye.”


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