World News

North Korea Hint To Possible Successor For Kim Jung-un With New Basketball Hoop In Pyongyang

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT International diplomats are in overdrive today, as the world prepares for the possibility of seeing a new leader instated as the head of one of the world's most secretive dynasties. This comes as CNN reports that North Korea's leader Kim Jong-un was gravely unwell after surgery, leaving his country and the world in a limbo as to who is...

Local Dad Still Yet To See Jordan At Halfway Point Of 2001 Teen Romance ‘Save The Last Dance’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After two months in iso, local dad Kel McCaffertey (54) has really been getting to know the endless online archives of the family TV and film streaming services that he never realised he was paying for. With a long list of recommendations he will not be following up from his mates with questionable taste, Kel has been researching...

‘Oh Well, At Least I’m Not In America Right Now’ Sighs Unemployed Local Woman

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In an effort to find some consolation amongst the current circumstances, local Job Seeker Alisha Wilson has found solace in the fact she doesn't live in the United States of America right now. Sitting at her dining table in her 4 person sharehouse in Betoota's French Quarter, the young out of work hopso employee told The Advocate that she likes...

Comrade Dutton Heartbroken By The News That The Neoliberal Wall Street Shill Has Beaten Bernie

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Senator Bernie Sanders has ended his presidential campaign today, clearing Joe Biden's path to the Democratic nomination and a showdown with President Donald Trump in November. It is believed the progressive had become too concerned by the amount of working class Americans risking their health to go outside to vote for him in the Democratic primaries during COVID-19 lockdown....

Unprecedented: White House Confirms President Trump Only Running Off 6 Hours Sleep A Night

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In good news for the United States Of America, the White House is today reporting that President Donald Trump has finally decided to take his country's COVID-19 outbreak seriously. As Australians adapt to the new normal that could our state-enforced social distancing measures in place until June - many of the Americans are still treating the coronavirus like a...

“They Better Not Thank God For This” Says Exhausted Vaccine Scientist Pulling 20 Hour Shifts

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the Australian public and government rapidly reacquaint themselves with the importance of science and organisations like the CSIRO - thousands of our greatest minds continue to run trial and errors tests on possible vaccinations and cures for the COVID-19 virus. After decades of stripping resources from science in an effort to silence any grave warnings about future health...

“Not This Year, Earth Hour”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Unless you are directly receiving emails from the official organisation, then it might surprise you that Earth Hour took place at 8pm last night. Earth Hour is an annual worldwide event held to encourage individuals, communities, and businesses to turn off non-essential electric lights, for one hour, from 8:30 to 9:30 p.m - on a specific day towards the...

American Out Of Toilet Paper Forced To Wipe With A Gun

LOUIS BURKE | Investigation | CONTACT At the time of writing, the USA is now leading the world in confirmed cases of COVID-19 with President Donald Trump reassuring the public he is a ‘wartime president’ who will step in once the deadly virus has ‘claimed Hillary Clinton.’ While none are surprised to hear the USA isn’t doing well against a threat they can’t drone strike,...

North Korea Praised For Closing Borders To Protect Civilians From Virus

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In an unexpected move, the World Health Organisation has praised North Korea for beating the coronavirus, with a reported zero cases, on par with it’s previous personal best in February which also featured zero reported cases. Despite the entirely believable claims from the country, some other countries have reacted with scepticism. US President Donald Trump even offered anti-epidemic assistance...

British Press Frantically Scheme How To Blame ‘That Witch’ For Further Infecting The Royal Family

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As British Royal Family enthusiasts freak out about Prince Charles' Covid-19 diagnosis, the UK press are frantically trying to figure out how to pin the blame on Meghan Markle. The 71-year-old reportedly contracted the coronavirus yesterday and is currently receiving the best medical treatment one could possibly get. However, while the Royal Family come to terms with how...

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