Bass Player Stops Playing Just To See If Anyone Notices
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Bass player Don Di Bias (33) conducted a soul-crushing experiment during a performance with his ska band Es-Ska-Go when he stopped playing...
Report Finds It’s Impossible To Attend A Festival Without Selfie In Bathroom
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
With the number of bathroom mirror selfies and preventable ecstasy overdoses stacking up, it is clear festival season is well and truly...
Shorten Realises He Has Been Driving With Indicator On For 11 Years
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Opposition leader Bill Shorten has had an egg on his face moment this weekend after discovering he had been driving with his...
Crispness Of Clap In Handshake Fair Indicator Of How Long It’s Been Since Last Pub Session
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
New studies show that a perfect connection between the bare palms of two eager pub patrons is the most clear indicator that it's...
Dutton Defends $450,000 Personal Expenses: “It’s Not That Easy To Get People To Join Me For Dinner”
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Peter Dutton (48) has defended his nearly half a million dollars in personal expenses today, stating it is not easy for him...
NEWSFLASH! Horse Racing Personality Is Potentially Crooked
CONURRA COOLMORE | Ponies et al. | Contact
The nation's punters have expressed shock this week after one of horse racing's most colourful personalities might...
The Nightwatchman’s Love For Coal On Hold As Lobbyist’s Cheque Bounces
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has told reporters this afternoon from outside a Brisbane demolition derby and caravan expo that...
Greek Barbershop Wall Decorated With Photos Of Owner Looking Exactly The Same Over 4 Decades
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
John's Hair, A local male grooming institution in the Flight Path District central business strip, actually hasn't changed much since it set up...
Fairfax Eye Steve Price As Possible Replacement For Clementine Ford As Resident Feminist
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet| CONTACT
In some breaking news from the curfew capital of the country, Sydney, Fairfax has reportedly lined up a replacement for feminist...
Uncle Tony X Describes Morrison’s Attempt At Shake-A-Leg As A Shame Job
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Prime Minister has all but confirmed the rumours surrounding white people and dancing, that's according to his loyal Special Envoy to Indigenous...
