World’s Draco Malfoy Lookalikes Furious About Common Man Hijacking Stock Market
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
“Just wait until father hears about this!” yelled Hedge Fund Manager Clionel Bexley-Vanchild Jnr (36) at an indoor plant he bought for two...
Gen-Y Financial Planner Suggests Client Buy Some Fucking Doge Because It’s Going To The Moon, Bro
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local financial planner has spent the day phoning his clients to suggest they buying some fucking dogecoin right...
Drug Dealer Avoids Suspicion By Taking Customer For Slow Lap Of Block In Souped Up WRX
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Andrew Slang (33), a local cocaine and ecstasy dealer, has last night revealed to one his most loyal customers just how serious he...
Mum’s Firm Grip On The Jesus Handle And Sharp Breaths Not Helping Learner Driver
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Keen to gain a little bit of independence, Cameron Frost chomped at the opportunity to get his learners permit...
Palaszczuk Asks Commonwealth If They Can Spot Her For Lunch After Leaving Her Wallet At Home
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has demonstrated of relatable politicians are to everyday shit kickers by accidentally leaving her wallet...
Godfreys Vacuums Now Regret Delisting From ASX After Seeing What’s Happened To GameStop
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Godfreys Vacuums say they now regret delisting from the Australian Stock Exchange in 2018 after seeing what the people...
City Worker Feels Like Filthy Cheater Walking Past Regular Cafe With A Different Coffee
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Sandy Dawson felt pretty uncomfortable this morning as she took a walk of shame, so to speak.
However, rather than trundling home after a...
Ipswich Man Misses Out On OAM Once Again For Services To Shooting Speed Cameras
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In their latest fuck you to Michael John Coleman, the Order of Australia Council has snubbed the 45-year-old...
Isolated Country Made Up Entirely Of Small Towns Somehow Managed Covid Most Effectively
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
New Zealand has topped the Lowy Institute's COVID Performance Index, leaving nations such as Vietnam and Thailand in its...
Mate Who Works At A Bank Tasked With Explaining This GameStop Business To Group Chat
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local bank employee said he's the sole member of the "💦 Tummy Sticks 2021 💦" group chat who...
