Happily Single Young Man Whose Only Set Of Sheets Haven’t Dried Going Bareback Tonight
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A
local, very eligible bachelor has been forced to bite the bullet this evening
and admit defeat.
After
trying to get on the front foot and...
Glamping Operator Still Not Mentally Prepared To Watch Fyre Fest Documentary
BINDI HESLOP | Local News | Contact
Adrian, 34, whose parents forked out a large sum of money last April in an attempt to make his dreams come...
Local Man’s Attempt To Flirt Goes Drastically Awry As Astrological Incompatibility Comes Up
BINDI HESLOP | Local News | Contact
A Betoota man’s attempt at establishing a romantic connection with his longtime crush has fallen flat this afternoon after it was...
Friend’s Older Brother Doesn’t Seem So Hot After Meeting Literally One Other Male
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
A local woman has come to an embarrassing realisation today after seeing her best friend's ‘hot’ older brother in the real world and...
Nearby One-Night-Stand Continue The Good Times By Open-Mouth Kissing In Breakfast Cafe
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Disgusting scenes are unfolding at a French Quarter cafe this morning as a couple who are clearly still in their clothes from the...
Local Introvert Found Dead After Mates Organise Busy Restaurant To Sing Him ‘Happy Birthday’
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
In sad news, a local Betoota man has passed away this evening after his larrikin friend started singing happy birthday to him in...
Local Woman Straps In For A Fight After First Line Of Email Reads ‘As Per My Previous Email’
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
A local 'bitch' on the other end of an email better be ready for a war of passive-aggressive words today after she sent...
Bunch Of Bananas On Special Fail To Replenish Serotonin Levels After 4 Day Bender
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Tragedy has struck a Betoota Grove home today after a young woman overdosed on Bananas.
Stephanie Brink (27) was rushed to hospital by...
Long Haired White Guys Detest Unoriginality Of Any Music Made By Long Haired White Guys
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A group of guys who look like they could be in Ocean Alley, or like a little brother version of Tame Impala, aren't...
Dad’s Eyes Light Up At Opportunity To Nail A Reverse Perpendicular Park
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
In some breaking news out of our town's Old City District, a local father of 3 just got that look in his eye....
