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Australia’s Labour Shortage Suddenly Resolved As Busted Crypto Bros Return To The Workforce

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The post-pandemic neoliberal mantra of 'nobody wants to work anymore' has finally been put to bed this week, as the Australian workforce experiences a much needed injection of skilled and unskilled man power. Up until Thursday last week, the Australian economy was paralysed by a drastic nation-wide labour shortage. From cafes, hotels through to farms and factories - business...

New Father Manages To Squeeze Unthinkable Amount Of Schooners Into 4:45-5:30 Friday Arvo Window

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With a 20-week-old at home and the crushing weight of the first real responsibilities he's ever experienced, local printer salesman Tyler Burston (38) has arrived at the pub this arvo with an immovable timeline. Refusing to let his very recent pivot into fatherhood derail his weekly ritual of a few glass canoes, the new dad has today made it...

Awww: Newest Generation Of Outlaw Bikies All Grew Up Reading Harry Potter

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent survey by The Australian Youth Literacy Foundation has found that a majority of the nation's under 40s have read at least one Harry Potter book, and close to 95% percent of Australians are familiar with the story of the Boy Who Lived. According the report, 18% of all Australians have read all of the Harry Potter books,...

Rural Cabbie Turns Out To Be An Aeronautical Engineer Still Waiting To Hear Back From Dutton

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Ajay Patel (36) is one of six Indians in the Western Queensland town of Opalcrims (population 2500) Half of them work in the RSL kitchen, another one works as a midwife, and Ajay drives a cab. This is a peaceful existence for a man who left his hometown in India in 2016. However, there is the niggling ambition that plagues many...

Hostie Asks Big Units In Exit Row If They’ve Got What It Takes Cometh The Hour Or Are They Fucken Pussies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As a bigger than average bloke, Betoota Heights-based club physio Matt 'Mucka' Marsden (38) understands that he carries certain responsibilities within society. One, he's usually the guy that the girls in his social circle approach when someone is being a sleaze at the bar - a task he enjoys taking the reins on as a former golden glove. He's also...

Manly To Stabilise Their Divided Organisation By Installing Malcolm Turnbull As Temporary Chairman

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Manly Sea Eagles prop Jake Trbojevic has this week rubbished claims that he and his brother Tom are leading a factional divide within the embattled rugby league club. This as comes as the off-season NRL rumour mill begins to blow smoke, after months of gossip suggesting that the Trbojevic brothers are looking for an early exit from the club...

Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With less than 24 hours until the Race That Stops The Nation, the same hashtags that once dominated social media before the pandemic are beginning to get traction again. Namely, #NupToTheCup campaign, which has become the most recognisable slogan used by animals rights activists to protest the treatment of the most pampered animals on the planet. However, as is the...

Lovely Suburban Couple Who Live A Normal Life Amongst Everyday People Really Excited For A Fun Day Tomorrow

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Angie and Peter 'Pistol' Reyes don't get out much nowadays. With three kids under 6 at home, and the shrinking window of home ownership in their peripheral - this Betoota Heights couple live a reclusive life of financial responsibility. Gone are the days of mid-week art shows and live gigs that used to fill the calendar in their twenties....

Are Any Of You Fucking Cowards Going To Address What Happened In Perth This Week?

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's political class don't appear to have much to talk about this week. This is peculiar, given the fact that literally every single Federal politician is currently Canberra, surrounded by journalists and media advisors, who would be briefing them on every single breaking story in the Australian news cycle. While the Liberal Party's 7 different female MPs rally in Parliament...

Yuppie Labor Nerd Finds Self Defending Tax Policies That Punish Poor People Because Scomo Sucks!

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In his first Federal Budget as the Australian Treasurer, Jim Chalmers MP has made one thing clear. Australia's working poor and two-income, lower-middle-class families will not see a rise in JobSeeker payments or their wages. The Treasurer has stated clearly in the budget that "Many indebted households will be more significantly impacted … Low-income households will be more heavily...

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