Politics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Praise, hope and high expectation have followed the appointment of Western Australian senator Michaelia Cash as Minister for Karen Affairs in the new Morrison government. Senator Cash is the first Karen to hold the newly created federal ministry, and the first woman to go through a can-of-Schwarzkopf-Strong-hold-per-day to sit in cabinet since Fran Bailey MP. In a statement Cash said...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Government is today shaking its head at the level of debate surrounding masks and their role in preventing the spread of the deadly Covid-19 virus. This comes as masks become mandatory as of midnight tonight in Melbourne, and epidemiologists urge a blanket rule on mandatory mask-wearing be implemented across the rest of the nation However,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Government has today announced the latest in it's set of 'Job' schemes, revealing an elaborate Multilevel Marketing program to help people get through these tough times. Following in the wake of the JobKeeper, JobSeeker and JobMaker - Scott Morrison has unveiled JobTrainer - a new self-employee program selling life-changing vitamins to friends, family, colleagues and...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Though you wouldn’t have picked it by just looking at him, local suit Mark Latham had some semblance of a personality. Once. But now, as the leading hedge fund manager for a top financial consulting company, Mark has had his personality chipped away the higher he’s climbed up the career ladder. Which to him, was a small price to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Maverick Victorian Liberal MP, Tim Smith has continued to somehow make the state opposition feel like the worse option, in the face of an unprecedented disaster that one would assume could only make them look good. This comes as the red-wine-swishing Scotch College prodigy continues to work towards his life goal of being retweeted by President Trump, and in...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Mathias Corman has formally announced that he will be retiring from politics causing somewhat of a headache for the Government, and the private sector. The Finance Minister who is abandoning the sinking ship after leading the country into its first recession on 30 years, announced over the weekend that he would be stepping down because he was more...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A pretentious Betoota couple have stunned staff at Happy Paws Rescue Shelter after genuinely asking if there were any purebred dogs for sale. Wanting to connect with the common man, the couple thought it would do their brand good if they adopted a rescue pup instead of spending thousands on pup that could have come from some kind of...

Militant non-smoker Nick Smith (28) seems to have relaxed his stance on casual durries as he and his mates get stuck into a couple of coldies. Usually berating his friends George (28) and Roger (30) for smoking during work hours, Smith has reportedly hinted that maybe a cheeky bunger isn’t so bad if you're at the pub with mates. “Yeah, I...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT When it comes to this weekend's by-election in Eden-Monaro the Coalition has gone through a river shit to find a candidate. After the binfire John Barilaro and Andrew Constance both putting their hands up and then being blackmailed out by their colleagues, the Liberal Party’s gruelling Eden-Monaro preselection process has finally delivered a candidate who loves religion and isn't convinced...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Our common-sense Prime Minister has lived up to his self-titled nickname today by telling reporters in Sydney this afternoon that he's not going to tell everyone what his plan is for JobKeeper and Seeker until after the election. Because if he does, they probably won't be voting for him in Eden-Monaro this weekend. "I mean, of...