Scotty Urges Unwell Blue Collar Workers To Self Isolate Under Bridge Away From Everyone Else
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The affects Coronavirus is having on the living standards of Australians is becoming increasingly apparent, after the Federal Government remembered that there is...
Clothes To Stay On The Line For Another Week Or So After Golden Window Of Sun Missed Again
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
"Fuckkkkkkk," sighed Betoota Heights local Sam Simpson this afternoon.
The cause for consternation was the heavy pitter-patter of another afternoon shower falling on...
Son Officially Becomes A Man As Dad Passes On Secret Ice Bag Smashing Technique
A historic and touching moment took place last Saturday at the Betoota Service Centre & Fine Art Gallery, as father Troy decided it was...
Local Renovator Nods Along Like She Knows What The Fuck A Spirit Level Is During Site Inspection
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Local woman, Prue Salman, experienced what’s known as NFI Disorder this weekend after hearing her builder say something about a spirit level, a bubble and...
Next Generation Air-Pods To Be Connected With String To Prevent Them From Being Lost
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
In a surprising move, Apple has revealed the next generation of AirPods will feature string holding the earbuds to each other and the device.
Artemius...
Single Mum Pulling Night Shifts As A Cleaner Probably Not Going To Be Able To Work From Home
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the nation's comfortable white collars and politicians urge people who are feeling a bit unwell to self-quarantine and work from the couch...
Report: Coronavirus Apparently Causing People To Shit More Than Usual?
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A new report by people who are hysterically panic-buying non-perishable groceries like characters on The Walking Dead has found that the Coronavirus causes...
God Fined Over Breaches of Water Restrictions
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
In an extraordinary move, God has been issued with a $220 fine for “gross breaches of Level 2 Water Restrictions” as a direct...
Anti-Vaxxer Wasn’t Immunised For Coronavirus In 1978 And She’s Never Had Any Problems
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
In a blow for the scientific community, a prominent anti-vaxxer has announced that she has not been affected by Coronavirus, despite not being...
Report: Braden Didn’t Clear His Friday Arvo For A Coronavirus Convention, So Just Fuck About It
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A recent report by the lads has found that one of the more blissfully ignorant blokes at the pub this arvo hasn't read...
