Crown Casino To Be Classified As Provider Of Essential Services
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
While the nation's pubs and clubs prepare to shut down in the midst of the COVID-19 Crisis, Crown Casino is ploughing on full...
Non-Essential Gatherings Ban Overturned As Ellie Reveals She’s Already Tried On A Formal Dress
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Drastic new measures have today been announced to contain the rapidly spreading coronavirus amongst Australians.
The Prime Minister has this morning addressed the nation...
Dutton Scales Roof Of Christmas Island Detention Centre In Protest Of Living Conditions
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In a rapidly developing story, Peter Dutton has just scaled the roof of the Christmas Island Detention Centre and is refusing to come...
Report: Super Rugby Probably Gonna Be Ok
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The nation's rugby union's fans are breathing a sigh of relief this morning after realising they are probably gonna be okay.
This follows...
Local Bloke Amazed By Huge Number Of Housewarming Invites After Purchasing Ute
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
Betoota local Tommy Hammond is having trouble keeping on top of his rapidly expanding social life these days after his recent purchase of...
World Wondering If It’s Up To The Climate Crisis After Being Crippled By Man Eating A Bat
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The world at large* is today wondering if things are really that grim today.
With the globe sinking to its knees at the...
Infected Junior Lawyers Informed They Can Isolate Themselves In The Office For 12 Days
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Young lawyers at Betoota's Mauricewood and Jameson's law firm have today been informed that they should not be following the advice of medical...
Kevin Rudd Looking Extra Smug Today
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
While most of the world looks on in anxiousness at what is unfolding as a result of COVID-19, one man is feeling an...
Parliament Hosts ‘Roaring 20s’ Party Complete With Great Gatsby Costumes, Crippling Recession
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Scotty From Marketing has attempted to help his MPs take their minds off the economic collapse they have sent our country into through...
Coronavirus Finally Hits Home As Ascot Mum Forced To Reconsider Tuscany In July
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As the world reels from the spread of COVID-19, countless economic and human costs are piling up.
With casual blue-collar workers forced to...
