New Study Reveals All Forms Of Sport In Which Contact Is A Possibility Should Be Banned For Children
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A new report released today has confirmed that all sport for children that involves any potential form of contact should be banned.
The...
Local Man Celebrates 60th Birthday By No Longer Believing In Climate Change
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local investment property owner from Betoota Grove has today celebrated his 60th birthday in style.
The semi-retired legal practitioner who once held...
Partygoer Attempts To Awkwardly Excuse Self And Join More Interesting Side Of The Table
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
A local man has today gotten himself into an awkward predicament at a dinner party.
Ryan Mann reveals to The Advocate that he’d...
Grown Man With Scabs On Knees And Elbows Either A Skateboarder Or A Piss Wreck
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Bill Messenger has been the lead detective on a number of Betoota’s most mysterious crimes, all of which he single-handedly solved.
So, when...
Bubbly Millennial Receptionist Considers 82-Year-Old Mail Clerk To Be One Of Her Best Friends
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In what has been described as the ultimate elephant-and-the-mouse scenario, 82-year-old John Nguyen is now best friends with 19-year-old Kelly Sampson.
It's a lifelong...
Suggested Daily Meditation Allows Woman To Focus Even More Clearly On Those Fucking Bitches
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
Chronic overthinker Ella Wells has today heeded her friend Jessica’s advice, and taken some much needed time to practice mindfulness.
The 24-year-old office...
Baseball Caps To Be Sold With Installation Instructions
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
In a sign of the times, 5 of the world’s largest baseball cap manufacturers have agreed to supply installation instructions with each cap sold following a series of...
Nervous Bachelor Deeply Regretting Ordering BBQ Wings On First Date
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
A nervous bachelor has royally fucked up in the presence of a potential suitor by committing a series of dating faux pas.
Adrian...
‘I’mma Gift Myself A Little Friday Arvo Blow Out’ Says Local Bachelor On Valentine’s Day
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local man is currently treating himself to a
little bit of self-loving this evening.
With the sun setting on yet another
Valentine's day without a...
Report: Plastic Servo Rose Should Do It
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
A new report has found that a plastic rose from the local servo, valued at only $5.95, is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift....
