Schooner Of Water Left By Drunk Self On Beside Table Fails To Shake Grog Horrors
INGRID DOULTON | Shoegaze Editor | Contact
In a selfless act of kindness, Peta Alice-Jones did something remarkable last night and picked a dirty schooner...
Tradesman’s Opinion Of Cyclists Changes Dramatically After Blowing the Bag Last Week
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Mercifully, his boss agreed to keep his tools in his ute for him in the interim.
Otherwise, Will Runyon's life would be at the...
Group Of Mates Too Hungover To Walk Next To Each Other
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
After a big night watching Queensland save face, a local group of single 20-somethings have today made the 200m journey to a local...
Suburban Mum Adopts What She Believes To Be The Same Accent As Migrant Waitress Serving Her
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
A local suburban mother of three has today debuted supreme cultural sensitivity by talking to the waitress in a way that she'll be...
Autumn Set To Begin 6 Weeks Early In Britain
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Great British Summer is over and the reason behind it has both baffled and concerned climate scientists around the globe.
In the space...
Husky Boyfriend Polishes Off Year’s Worth Of Salt And Sugar During Opening Credits
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A moron boyfriend has nigh-on overdosed on salt and sugar this week, after ignoring the best advice of his girlfriend, again.
Blake Ashford (24),...
New Older Man Friend Is Dating Coincidently Makes Bank
BERNICE TWISP | Relationships | Contact
Amy Henry is looking down at her phone as she mindlessly shovels a boiled chicken into her mouth.
By the...
Half-Sick Colleague Heroically Comes Into Work To Carry Out Duty To Make Everyone Else Sick
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A mildly unpopular bag of shit moonlighting as an account coordinator at a local multinational boutique advertising firm has today...
Soul Of Rapidly Gentrifying Suburb Officially Dies As ‘Dapper Gent’ Barber Shop Opens
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
There was a time in the not-too-distant past where a young man - or woman - could enjoy an evening in the French...
Mature-Age Student Adds Another Valuable Family-Related Anecdote To Class Discussion
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Classes have resumed at South Betoota Polytechnic College this week and one of the only journalism students without brain matter leaking out of...
