An inner-city Betoota cafe owner is charging 50 cents extra for any customer who requires eftpos, despite not looking like he can really afford to pick and choose, it has been confirmed.

Despite making a sustainable amount of money each day on this essentially cost-free service, local barista Kai Dixon (32) is still acting like the three hand movements he makes to complete a purchase is an absolute privilege for his customers.

“Aaaah… Eftpos?” he says, as though every second customer isn’t paying by card.

“That’s going to cost you 50 cents more. That alright?”

“Just so you know, this a big inconvenience to me and I almost feel as though I should say no to your request to use this machine that I have hooked up next to the register”

With his cafe traffic booming during rush house, to the point where most customers have to line up, Kai is yet to experience a customer who doesn’t hesitantly agree to his swindling.

One local customer, Rick, is fed up.

“How about he gets rid of that fucking machine and we’ll see how much business he gets”

“No one is walking around with three dollars in coins anymore. It’s not 1995”

“The fucking hide he must have to pretend eftpos isn’t his most popular form of payment”

However, Kai, who recently went on a two-day bender with his other cafe-owner mates after learning of the Fair Work Commission’s decision to scrap Sunday penalty rates for casual employees, says people don’t understand how hard it is to hook up an eftpos machine to the phone line that was already functional when he moved in to the shop four years ago.

“It’s a cost that I have to wear. We don’t get any support from the government to help build these services”



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