In an idea that can only be for the best, locked down youth Cerie Tan (29) decided to do some cooking. 

After scrolling through the first draft of the recipe writer’s autobiography, Tan began making what was described as a quick and easy butternut gnocchi recipe which according to the website, should take 25-30 minutes.

Unfortunately for Tan, the estimated time window was immediately thrown out of a window and into a skip by casually asking her to peel an entire butternut squash.

Taking out a potato peeler and only managing to peel a thin strip off the hard, leathery surface of the pumpkin Tan realised this wasn’t going to be fucking easy.

A few YouTube tutorials later, Tan nervously produced her sharpest knife, prayed and began carving the slightly phallic vegetable with the caution of a bomb disposal expert.

“How did anyone ever even discover this was edible? How did this fucking thing evolve?” stated Tan as she put all her energy into removing half a centimeter of butternut skin.

“This better taste better than Maccas or I will lose my shit.”

Four hours later, Tan and her remaining fingers sat down to enjoy one of the hundreds of portions her cooking produced before shortly remembering she doesn’t like pumpkin.

“25 to 30 minutes my arse. I blame Jamie Oliver.”


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