POO IN MY PANTS BAHAHA! Scotty From Marketing has descended to new lows in an effort to distract the news cycle from the fact that the two biggest cities in Australia are currently in lockdown.

More than two years after they asked him to be on their radio show, the PM has finally appeared on the Kyle and Jackie O show, a decision that has nothing to do with them officially knocking of his beloved 2GB talkback as the number 1 breakfast radio show.

Kyle Sandilands began the interview by admitting that his opinion about the prime minister had changed, an epiphany that has nothing to do with him deciding to go on their show instead of the conservative talkback station that exists to solely get him elected.

“I was not a fan of yours from the beginning,” Sandilands said.

“I didn’t vote for you … but now I regret it.”

However, the flattery didn’t last for long, as King Kyle discovered quite quickly that the Prime Minister isn’t the type of bloke you’d take for a spin in the lambo.

“Can I clear up one thing from ages ago?” the PM asked, with a big grin on his face.

Scotty wasted no time with the self-deprecation, a media tactic that his focus groups suggest will make him look more human to voters.

The PM then jokingly addressed the longstanding rumour he had shit his pants at Engadine McDonald’s after the Cronulla Sharks lost the grand final in 1997.

“It is the biggest urban myth ever” said Scotty

“That you pooed your pants?” Jackie O asked.

“I found the whole thing incredibly amusing, I always joke about it … it is absolute and total rubbish.” the PM responded, in a light-hearted manner but with the sternness of an egotistical maniac who thinks he has been sent by God to lead the Australian people.

Jackie O joked the PM had really come on their show to clear up the Engadine rumour, as opposed to using the interviews as a chance to broadcast the new lockdown payments, which is true, because talking about shitting himself on live radio is actually a better option for the leader of a developed country who has failed to organise adequate quarantine facilities or jabs to prevent the constant lockdowns.

“it is complete and utter rubbish haha” said Scotty.


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