Local child Timothy Robbins loves nothing more than a good spag bowl…well, except maybe chicken tenders.

But considering he comes from a very white family, Timothy isn’t really used to meals deviating from simple pasta dishes or the standard meat and veggies – with the latter usually boiled and without a single bit of seasoning.

This was a result of his mum’s parents being opposed to all things salt, sugar and fat, and rationing pieces of chocolate like soldiers at war.

So deeply instilled is this fear of flavour that Timothy’s mum has continued the tradition of tasteless carb-heavy meals well into her 50’s. But tonight, she’s decided to change things up a bit by following a new recipe from her celebrity crush and hall pass, Colin Fassnidge. 

Timothy was reportedly halfway through his bowl of spaghetti when his mum mentioned she’d experimented with a new sauce.

“I thought I’d do something a little different tonight.”

“Added some red wine to the spaghetti.”

It’s alleged that as soon as his mum had mentioned wine, Timothy had immediately felt the effects of alcohol and was seen giggling profusely while seated at the table. Despite the alcohol content being completely cooked out due to the heat, he was later spotted dramatically staggering up the stairs and falling asleep in a drunken stupor. 

More to come.


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