Local dad Mark Gurd (52) has been forced to admit he is still not fully across the plot of the 2001 movie Swordfish, despite having watched it at least half a dozen times.

The early noughties action/thriller film features Hugh Jackman, John Travolta, Don Cheadle and Halle Berry who appears briefly in a gratuitous topless scene that would have otherwise seen the hacking/heist film lost in the sands of time.

Twenty years after the films’ original release it holds a 25% positive score on Rotten Tomatoes and 6.5/10 on IMDB, yet these mediocre reviews have not stopped free-to-air TV networks airing the film once a year at about 9:30pm, after the kids have gone to bed.

A regular viewer of the annual Swordfish airing, Gurd is always eager to open a packet of biccies and watch the film, even if he has no idea what the movie is about.

“Jackie is like a hacker, he’s got a daughter, Travolta is a secret agent or something, some of them are secret agents,” stated Gurd, pausing the film so as not to miss any important plot details.

“Halle Berry might be an agent too. It flashes back and forth, I think? Classic movie.”

According to Gurd, Swordfish is a movie that has details enhanced by multiple viewings even though he cannot remember the name of any of the main characters.

The interview was forced to end when Halley Berry appeared on screen, sunbathing while reading a magazine and Gurd demanded our reporting team leave at once.

“Get out guys seriously! If it looks like anyone is still awake give us a heads up, otherwise get the fuck out right now.”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here