FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact

Betoota’s fourth favourite watering hole, The Seventh Giggling Cosmonaut (formerly known as the Imperial Hotel) has incorporated a unique feature into the newly-renovated front bar, which is designed to speed up drink transactions. 

“I couldn’t figure out why the bar line was moving so slowly” said owner Ivan Farski.

“I’d have three staff behind the bar and there would still be a 5 minute wait, even with only a dozen customers. Then I just watched one day and noticed that every time a couple would come up to the bar the bloke would ask for a beer and then ask his girlfriend what she wanted.”

“And at that point she would look like she’d just snapped out of a trance, like she didn’t realise that she was at a bar and might have to decide what drink to drink. She’d look at every bottle on the shelf, look at the ceiling, read the whole cocktail list, ask the staff what they would choose, and then just ask for Moscato. Or an espresso martini.”  

To solve this issue, Ivan took inspiration from his love of 1980’s game shows and installed a button that plays 10 seconds of “thinking music”.

As soon as a girlfriend stares into the distance, the server presses the button which activates the thinking music.

Ten seconds of frowning and hmmmming later, a ‘ding’ lets the girlfriend know it’s decision time, so she can ask for the Moscato that she was always going to choose anyway. Or an espresso martini.  

“It’s genius!” said formerly frustrated boyfriend Tim Zenner.

“We used to leave the pub at 3am, but now we’ve cut down on downtime at the bar we usually get escorted to the exit by the RSA Marshal by 9:30pm”. 


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